Thursday, November 25, 2010

Why Your Kid (possibly) Won't Go to College: My thoughts on the "Real World" and Social Darwinism

Before I get showered with sevens of hate mail, allow me to elaborate on my declaration.  I was pondering this the other day, as I was perusing an article about how "all children should be able to get college educations in this country", or some such drivel.  "What about the children???" One might say, shaking their fist defiantly at my posting title! By the way, you can stop shaking your fist at it; it is simply a phrase of typed text and can't see your indignant fist-shaking.
    My point is this:  not every kid or young adult in this great country has the mental capacity for earning a college degree. Sorry if you feel disappointed, or if this startling revelation makes you want to storm the walls of Harvard (do they have walls? Meh...).  I am reminded of a very profound line from the movie Caddyshack when Judge Smails (played by the awesome Ted Knight, if you'll recall) tells the tall, goofy protagonist of this hilarious movie this nugget upon hearing the kid lament he couldn't afford to get into college: "well, the world needs ditch-diggers too." 
     Ponder that for a moment.  The world damn sure does need ditch-diggers.  Not everyone can be a doctor, or a lawyer, or a corporate mover-and-shaker.  If they were, who would be left to ask the doctors and lawyers in line at Mickey D's "would you like to go large for 89 cents more?"
     Also, having a Master's in music theory is not going to guarantee you a $100K a year job as a corporate music theorist. In case you missed it, the bullet point there is if you soak off your parents going to school for 6-7 or more years to get some bullsh** degree, well then you may want to go ahead and identify that little picture of the cheeseburger on the cash register.
     Don't get me wrong.  If you are in a stage in life where you are financially independent, and you want to go to college to study Renaissance Macedonian Basket-weaving to broaden your horizons, go for it.  College is (or was, in theory, in olden tymes) a place for higher learning.  No, not that kind of higher, Smokey McPott.  I mean expanding your culture and wisdom.  BUT, if you feel that same degree gives you some sense of entitlement to a corner office in a corporate high-rise somewhere, eh... not exactly.  Just my opinion.