I decided to take a break from unbearably long rants and just jot down a few things at a time that jump into my head from time to time. Hope you enjoy it.
> A swarthy fellow came up to me yesterday and said "I like the cut of your jib." I took that as high praise, since he was a pirate, and they are quite renowned for their jib-cutting.
> I saw this sign on a seafood place the other day: "Seafood Garden". Ummm.. WTF crops are you planting, exactly?
> If I could, I would jump in a time machine, go back in time to when dodo birds roamed the earth, and gather some dodo birds eggs. Then I would return to the present day, and make a tasty dodo bird-egg breakfast burrito. At P. Diddy's house. Yeah, s**k it, Audubon!
> If you haven't heard of the comedian Whitney Cummings, you are missing out. She is hy-larious. And Natasha Leggero. Exceptionally funny comedians.
